So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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