Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
