I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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