I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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