You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
