I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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