I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?