Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...