she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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