Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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