her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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