I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
