I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
