i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
