I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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