Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass