i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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