The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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