Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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