1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
