dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I need moral support for this bender
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
