Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
