What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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