I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
