we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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