absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
