im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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