i barfeds in our rink
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
