i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
