somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
