sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
