They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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