im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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