Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
