i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize