she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
