I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
