last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Text me some of your sweat
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
