My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
