if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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