can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
