You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You took a bar mat shot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I had to cum in my sink.
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