i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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