There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
