i already hear my dad disowning me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
