Midget sex pt 2 tonight
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
