This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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