Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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