My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think your dad took our porno
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
