don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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