She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
