Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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