So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
