i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
