Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
