My entire life is one complicated drinking game
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
