i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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