that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
where am i from again
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
