Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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