I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
