dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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