If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
