normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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